Power Friendship
Selfie at the train station taken by Lisa
Today is International Friendship Day.
It also happens to be my friend, Lisa’s birthday. A coincidence, but nonetheless worth noting. Last week, now that the world is reopening, I made a day trip to Philadelphia to see Lisa who drove in from her home in Lancaster county. We walked around the zoo and had lunch. It had been several years since we had seen each other and it was long overdue. We had a great time and had lots to talk about—teenage daughters, work, and reminiscing about our trip to Budapest while we were studying abroad in Rome (we meet at Temple’s Rome Campus). This got me thinking about my friendships and how I have maintained them during the pandemic and how I want to maintain them going forward. I am not someone who has a million friends; I am someone who has a tight-knit group of very close friends. In the past year, I have zoomed, face-timed, and emailed friends more than in the past to check in, offer help, or in my constantly going through the stuff in my house, to share a photo of a piece of memorabilia.
But what to do going forward? Connect, connect, Connect. And listen, listen, and listen which is the sibling of connection. In fact, Dyan Williams writing for Life Hack has as her #1 on a list of things to do to maintain a friendship, “Make time to Connect.” Her #8 is “Build Trust.” This is done by sharing our innermost thoughts and feelings. When this occurs by both people, the relationship grows and becomes one of more mutual respect and helping each other.
My college roommate now lives outside Atlanta. Seeing her isn’t so easy as she has four kids to my one and she has activities, school, and not to mention her own life (and also a husband). She told me one of her New Year’s resolutions was to talk more with me, so we talked on the phone with some frequency. We are more connected to each other and know more about how life is going for each of us than we have in the last 10 years.
Wo what can you do to maintain friendships?
Call more often
Email regularly
Send notes of “thinking of you.” (yes, snail mail.)
Remember birthdays, anniversaries, or any other important day in their lives
Grab a coffee or a meal together in the warmth of the summer (if you live in the same city/town)
Send a care package (my favorite is bagels and a schmear from Zabar’s, so New York)
And remember to be grateful for all the wonderful people in your life.