Super parent?

This morning I put my daughter on the train for a friend’s birthday weekend. To be fair, she put herself on the train since she is 16 y.o. There are days when I think back to her being an infant, toddler, kid, etc. When I do, I am often smiling. I know two things; one she is turning out to be one heck of a young lady and two, she loves me (I love her back).

However, it has been this idyllic all along. There were moments when she threw tantrums as a toddler, kicked and punched doors when she was angry, and told me she hated me in her early teen years. Parenting is anything but neat. It is messy, frustrating, and imperfect. In fact, the perfect parent doesn’t exist except in the movies, on TV or in Books. June Cleaver. Clair Huxtable, and Topenga Matthews are all fictional and not based on real-life mothers. Not just for mothers, but for fathers too, parenting is messy, frustrating, and imperfect.

This is why I do what I do. I coach parents to take control of their time, be more productive, and reduce their stress. With the skill sets parents learn, they can stay focused on the present moment and parent with a clear mind and open heart. And is doing this they can see and accept that parenting is imperfect.

In fact, Imperfection is the superpower of a parent. To toot my own horn, I have a great relationship with my daughter. As a teenager, she actually shares stuff with me which is an anomaly. Stereotypically, teens don’t share with their parents. So how did my daughter and I get here?

One, I admitted when I made mistakes and apologized if necessary. I am after all, only human. Two, I asked my daughter to respect me whether or not she liked/loved me. My response when she told me she hated me was “I don’t ask that you like me, I ask that you respect me.” Three, I made sure she knew that I trusted her and didn’t judge her (and loved her unconditionally).

Recently when my daughter came home after curfew and said “It was only by 20-minutes.” I replied, “In some homes, this would be major. However, next time just text me if you are going to be late, but try not to be. OK?” She nodded in understanding.

So, the real purpose of why I do what I do is to help parents develop loving, understanding, and respectful relationships with their children. I want other parents to have what I have.