The Tween Show

Last week, I spoke about teens and social media. This week, it is the “Tween Show.” As I mentioned in last week’s article, kids start as early as 12 y.o. on social media. However, keep in mind that they are going though adolescence and aren’t fully matured or developed brain wise.  “Social media was not designed for them. A tween's underdeveloped frontal cortex can’t manage the distraction nor the temptations that come with social media use. While you start teaching responsible use of tech now, know that you will not be able to teach the maturity that social media requires. Like trying to make clothes fit that are way too big, they will use social media inappropriately until they are older and it fits them better.” — Dr. Victoria Duncley, Psychology Today

I don’t know about you, but I remember middle school being about who was popular and who wasn’t, who wore the trending clothing designers and who were the geeks (a.k.a wallflowers at a school dance). Well, it’s the same today. Except with social media, your children can see what the “popular” kids are doing and wearing. Heck they can see what tweens in other countries are wearing, their latest shopping haul and the beautiful and/or handsome friends he/she might have. This can create a feeling of inadequacy, self -oathing and down the road, self-harm. “Researchers at the University of Essex and UCL found an association between time spent on social media in the tween years (age 10) and reduced wellbeing later in adolescence (ages 10-15). What's more, their findings discovered that using social media at a young age directly affected girls, but had a smaller impact on boys.” — Sherri Gordon, VeryWell Family

So, what is a parent to do? Write out some guidelines with your children so everyone is on the same page. “Some written guidelines about social media can help your child get the benefits of social media while using it responsibly, respectfully and safely. This agreement could be part of a family media plan. If these guidelines include your social media use as well as your child’s, you can be a positive role model.” — RaisingChildren

While social media provides the benefit of keeping in touch with your friends, even the camp friend who lives in another state, it can also be a breeding ground for “I am not good enough” self-talk. Along with guidelines, be sure to talk to your children about how to have a positive experience on social media. A teen (13) I know took herself of Instagram because it was painful to see what her friends were up to since she had been “cancelled.” The friends realized their error and apologized. Unfortunately, most tweens (and teens), boys and girls, are not mature enough to understand to do this. Kudos to this girl!

Shameless Plug… On Tuesday April 26th at 12:30 PM, I will be in conversation with Richard Landau, a cyber security expert for a workshop, “The Dark Web: What every parent needs to know.” Register here.