Setback time...

There was no blog post last week. The trackpad on my computer stopped working. A visit to an Apple store got it back up and running. So for most of the week, I have been using my phone for checking email, google searches, and attending Zoom meetings. This got me thinking about what you can do when you face a setback. Setbacks are something we may face as we try to succeed at our yearly goals.

There are three main reasons why we have setbacks:

1.    The goal is unrealistic

2.   We go full-on to begin and burn out quickly

3.   Our time frame is too short

SMART goals (recent blog post) are so important. Being SMART keeps your goals realistic. Going from sedentary to walking once a week and then increasing it over time to two, then three and so on is more realistic than going from sedentary to walking 4 times a week.

If you try to go from sedentary to walking 4 times a week at the outset, you might burn out quickly. “Research suggests that 80% of January gym-joiners quit within five months.” — Glofox Want to be part of the 20% that doesn’t quit the gym? “Psychologists say it’s important to focus not on the goal but on the process of change. New Year’s resolutions often fail because they encourage a goal-oriented, rather than a process-oriented approach. It’s not about achieving a single goal, it’s about developing a habit or set of habits that result in the desired goal(s).” — Chicago School of Professional Psychology, News Direct

The last reason for failure is the time frame. Lose 15 lbs. in 6 months or by year’s end? If we go back to our example of being sedentary, then 6 months is too short, a year might work.

What do you do when you face a setback? I break down the situation into all its pieces and then look at each one to see what I can learn. For example, I have started having a glass of water with the juice of ½ a lemon every morning before breakfast. This morning I slept in, so by the time I got up I was more in the mood for lunch then my morning protein shake and therefore not in the mood for my lemon water. My analysis of the situation showed me that I have tied my lemon water routine to my morning protein shake. On a morning when I don’t do a protein shake, I am less likely to do the lemon water too. My setback (skipping the lemon water) became a learning opportunity

Remember we all have setbacks and failures. “Often times, people believe setbacks to be a reflection of their identity, doing little for their self esteem and confidence. In conquering your fear of obstacles, it is imperative to make this distinction: failing at something does not make you a failure.” —Caitlin Vogt, MyOptions

Some other tips to deal with setbacks:

1.    View it as a learning opportunity (don’t dwell on it)

2.   See it as a piece of the bigger picture

3.   Have a pity party for a day and then move on

4.   Focus on what you can control

5.    Continue to show up

6.   Ask for help (and help others)

All in all, setbacks should not be crippling or cause you to throw your hands up in despair. Unfortunately, they are a part of life that must be dealt with and moved past.  Take a page out of my book, I watch an episode of a favorite show when I face a setback to give me some space from it and an “upper” to boost my mood.