The outsider...

The other day I was on a personal development webinar when a sentence flashed across my brain.

“I am an insider.”

What does this mean? Further reflection after the webinar ended gave me the answer. In elementary school, I was teased by my classmates, with hand movements to “Circle, circle, dot, dot, dot, now I have my cootie shot.” My usual response was to do it back to the classmate or to shrug it off. In middle school, kids looked at me as if I were strange. Again, I just didn’t care. In high school, I would be reminded that I wasn’t a member of the popular crowd to which I responded, “So, what!” Even going into adulthood I was viewed at times as weird, strange, or alien. I, pretty much, came out of my mother’s belly sure of two things. One, who I am as a person, and two, unwavering in living my truth. This doesn’t make me an “outsider.” It makes the others fearful or even jealous of someone who is more sure of herself than they are. I AM AN INSIDER! I am just an insider who refused to follow the leader, submit to peer pressure, and choose at times to buck the system. Now, I could’ve and should’ve cared more about what other people thought especially as a teenager as long as it didn’t require that I change who I am as a person. Just because I didn’t wear the latest fashions, gush over the cutest guy in the grade, secretly wear make-up when parents said 12 y.o was too young doesn’t mean that I am an outsider. I did it my way and will continue to do it my way. In my book, this is called “living your truth.” I am who I am, so others can take it or leave it. That’s on them and not on me. In fact, this is the most powerful message I can give my daughter. When she was little, I often said to her, “Sylvie, promise me you’ll be true to who you are.” My holiday gift to my daughter is to model living my truth and letting the world adjust around me.