My guilty pleasure
So lately I have been whiling some minutes watching clips of the TLC show on the Gypsies in the United States. Here are three things I have learned from this show about parenting and such…
You can’t expect your child(ren) to make-up for your mistakes. In one clip a woman married outside the Gypsy culture (known as a Gorger) so no one in her family or other gypsies came to her daughter’s 10th birthday party. Mind you the mom’s intention for the party was to find a nice Gypsy boy for her daughter to meet and eventually marry, so as to keep the traditions alive. Not to mention that the mother and father fight over their daughter upholding the Gypsy traditions or being more of an American girl.
Raising your kids in the US exposes them to all the possibilities they can have in life. In one clip a mom invites a gypsy boy that she has selected for her daughter as a mate to her daughter’s 17th birthday party. The boy gets down on one knee and proposes, having just met his future wife. However, the daughter dreams of going to college and becoming a nurse which goes against the Gypsy tradition of becoming a dutiful housewife and mother. and so says “No.” Different religions have proven that having your own schools for your children keeps them more into the faith and traditions, then sending them to public school (I am speaking of Yeshivas and Catholic/Christian schools).
There is never a thing as too much bling. Their party dresses are bedazzled, sequined, and sparkle more than a disco ball. Their wedding dresses match the theme of the wedding and are glitzy, have long trains, and are often super “ball” gowns. And if it weren’t for the go-to Gypsy wedding dressmaker, you would have a whole wing at a mental institution for designers who went crazy with all the beading and bedazzling in such a short period of time— months not years.
And the bonus that I learned..Forcing your child to do anything or think a certain way always backfires. This is why I don’t do it if it can be avoided. And if it can’t, I lay on the Jewish mom's guilt and hope this does the trick.
(Note: According to articles I found online, in the 1960s Roma Gypsy families were targeted by Truancy Officers, especially in CA, for not sending their kids to school. A deal was worked out where the families started sending their kids to public school and in return, the fathers became more involved in the community. This afforded the men access to local politicians and gave them clout in the Roma Gypsy community. Another article stated that in England Gypsy communities had their own schools.)