The deep end

This time of year, makes us think about relationships with our friends and family and what they mean to us. Someone of us will even consider a yearly goal or a New Year’s resolution to deepen our relationship, spend more time with friends and family and/or have more experiences with others.

This begs the question: How does one deepen a relationship?

First, we must make sure that our friends and family know that we appreciate them and will be there in their time of need. Many years ago, I heard a saying, “When the going gets tough, your friends run toward you to help.” Same can be said of family. “In journalist Billy Baker’s book, We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends, he finds himself nearing middle age and lacking friends. He tries several tactics to strengthen his bonds. The one that ultimately works is scheduling a regular time to meet up with friends. “ — Marisa Franco, PhD., Psychology Today I do this. I have 4 friends that I meet monthly for coffee or drinks. I look forward to these occasions and how it has deepened my friendship with these people.

One thing to remember is that we change over time, what we need changes and what we can give does too. The friends and family that can adapt with us and let us know their needs and what they can give as it changes too are the best relationships. This applies to romantic relationships too. “Your needs are constantly changing and evolving, particularly over the course of a relationship. In order for it to last, you need to have a partner who is willing to respond to the changes, to be able to identify what those changing needs are, and also to be able to meet and provide your partner with what they ask for.” — Cosmo Luce, Elite Daily. In fact, all of this advice applies to romantic relationships too.

Any discussion on deepening relationships would not be complete with talking about intimacy. “Intimacy is that feeling of closeness with another person. In both romantic relationships and platonic relationships, intimacy is essential.” — Master Class To develop or deepen intimacy make sure the other person feels appreciated, communicate clearly and give hugs and kisses or more in a romantic relationship (Master Class). Also, be sure you are getting the same in return.

Other ways to deepen relationships is to do things together. Like I said earlier to meet for coffee or drinks, go out for a meal, take in a museum or concert, or do a game night. Maybe even do a project together such as gardening, baking or decorating a Christmas tree. Whatever you decide let’s all add to our resolution or goal list for 2023 to deepen our relationships and give ourselves a dose of happiness by spending time with family and friends.