Holding back?

After writing about setbacks last week, I got to thinking about the other ways that derail you. Next up is “holding back” which we can do to ourselves, or it can be done to us.

That promotion you didn’t get could be because the boss is holding you back (maybe doesn’t think you’re ready) or your fear of success getting in your way. As to the grocery store not having the main ingredient for dinner, you waited until the last minute, or your partner told you at the last minute they would be home for dinner.

So, what’s holding you back, if it’s you and your mindset? The 5 most common fears:

1.    Fear of failure (or success)

2.   Afraid you are not good enough (lack of confidence)

3.    Being found out as an imposter

4.   Feeling like you don’t deserve it

5.    Not motivated to take action/ afraid you’ll do it wrong
(— Dan Negoni, Launchbox365)

When any of these issues creep up, you need to get inside your head to send them packing. This is easier said than done. To combat these, try doing it anyway, telling yourself repeatedly that you can do this every day, breaking it down into small tasks and doing one at a time until completed, and/or talking about it with a family member, friend, or colleague for some support and accountability.

“The only reason we are not where we want to be in life is because we are the ones holding ourselves back.” — Richard Husseiny, Medium

Also, I mentioned when others are holding us back like the boss who doesn’t think we're ready for the promotion or the partner who tells us at the last minute their coming for dinner. What can we do about this? “If you’ve started to feel like someone is holding you back from realizing your full potential, from walking your path of self-actualization, from fulfilling your dreams, from doing the things you want to do and living the life you want to live, probably the most important thing you’ve got to consider is whether they really are holding you back or whether they’re just trying to help you stay grounded in reality. “ — Michael Schreiner, Evolution Counseling Keep in mind that not everyone will share your vision of the world, your dreams, and aspirations. I choose to tune out the naysayers. As for those giving a dose of reality, put it up against your dreams and aspirations and see if they still work. Needing money to start a business may not work when your debt is pointed out to you. However, asking for a raise may work even if it's pointed out that the industry is hurting because the raise is based on your work performance.

You can deal with what is holding you back that’s for sure. The question then becomes how you deal with it.