To do or not to do...
A decision can be hard to make. And in some cases, so hard that you feel paralyzed. “Decision paralysis occurs when we have to select from options that are difficult to compare. Simply stated, decision paralysis can be described as having such a tough time choosing between action A or B that we pick action C or do nothing at all.” — Petr Ludwig, Procrastination.com And this can mean you make no decision at all. Not good.
When do you know that you have decision paralysis? “’Oftentimes, what we see with this phenomenon is that people start to doubt themselves or question themselves,” explains Duke [Natacha Duke, MA, RP,]. “And they think that other people know more than them or other people are more capable of making the decision.’ In other words, if decision-making starts to affect your self-esteem and well-being, you should see this as a red flag.” — Cleveland Clinic In other words, if you fear making the wrong decision, are afraid what others will think of your decision or continue to research the decision, you my friend have decision paralysis.
Want to overcome this? Try setting a deadline, narrowing down your options early, use a frame work to help yourself (like a pros and cons list, a favorite of my mom) or practice making decisions quickly ( Sarah Laoyan, Asana). You cannot have someone else make the decision for you as much as you would like. However, you can ask a friend for advice. If you have multiple job offers you can ask a friend his/her opinion of the different companies. If you are taking your boyfriend out for his birthday you can ask his sister for recommendations of restaurants he likes. In the end it is your decision.
If you want to be helpful to someone you know is suffering from decision paralysis, you can give them a deadline, help them do a comparison chart, even review the research to talk it out with them and in general be a sounding board.
Decisions can be tough, like which job to take or easy, like what to have for breakfast. But in each case, it your decision to make and make it you must.