The family we are

The family we have.

We don’t get to choose our family. We get to choose what we get from them. In honor of Women’s history month, I thought I would illuminate what the women in my family (and some friends) taught me or how they inspired me, and most importantly how they made me laugh. I

’ll start with two incredible women, my grandmothers. I once told my paternal grandmother, Grandma Syd, “If you can read you can cook.” This didn’t apply to her because she didn’t own a cookbook and yet everything that came out of her kitchen was delicious (with the exception of her boi-it-all corned beef St. Patrick’s Day dinner.) I like to believe that I get my cooking ability from her. Also, I believe that if my father had taken to cooking it wouldn’t look like the ability skipped a generation. Now, my maternal grandmother, Mama-g, was smart. She hired a cook because she knew that her ability was severally lacking. She had a boiling hot water tap on her sink to make tea or instant coffee without the need to boil water. You might not think I learned anything from this or the fact that she had Lucy, the cook, cook the entire package of bacon on day 1 of the visit and you ate it all throughout the week-long visit. I did learn — when you don’t know what you are doing, hire an expert. You won’t find me trying to repair my car or troubleshooting my water heater. I have such fond memories of visits to Grandma’s apartment with all the Entemann’s and ice cream a kid could want. and to Mama-g with my grandfather, Papa'-g’s home in Memphis where I soaked up family history and hearing stories of my mother’s childhood shenanigans.

Next up my mother. Oy, she’s a tough act fo follow and yet, like her I have a daughter. In fact, my mom had two daughters as I have an older sister. The question to ask is “what didn’t I learn from my mother? and “when did she not inspire me?” In fact, that answer to both is probably never. When my marriage ended I turned to people I knew were divorced, looked back on friends I had with divorced parents and to my mom. She knew all too well the sudden change of being a couple to a single since she lost my father (and her parents) all before turning 50. My mother retired at the end of February and already she is doing some volunteering. You go, Mom!

Now on to friends and I am sorry to lump you all together, My BFF Melissa, my sister from another mister, Clair, and my second mom, Ellen. Each of you in your own way has inspired me to be my best and made me laugh. I refer to Ellen and her husband Hank, as Burns and Allen when we all go veggie shopping on some Saturday mornings. Their banter reminds me of the vaudeville duo.

And last but not least, the woman, actually the girl who inspires me to be my best every day, my daughter Sylvie. For many years now I have suffered from nondebilitating depression, diagnosed as Disthymia. What gets me out of bed every morning? Being there for her and helping her navigate life, learn values, and the importance of always being her true self. When she was little, I started saying to her every now and then, “Promise me that you’ll always be true to who you are.” I did and do this because it is words I live by and always have.

So as Women’s history month has come to end, I want to remind everyone (men, too.) to remember to always be yourself and make no apologies for doing so. As my last post said my word of the year is “honesty.” And being yourself is as honest as it gets.