The collector
Some people collect comic books. Other collect dolls. I collect antique and vintage cookbooks. Yet, there is the collecting on intangible things.
Some people collect moments of kindness. Others collect friendships. Still others collect memories and/or stories. My daughter would say that in any conversation I have a story to tell that relates.
The other weekend I was out with a friend. We went to hear live music. There were some old men dancing who managed to entice young women to dance with them. My friend made a point of telling the women how happy the men looked and thanking them even though he didn‘t know the men or women. He is a collector of moments of kindness.
This past weekend I met a woman on a guided tour of the Northfork of Long Island. She told me she heard about the trip from her girlfriend (also there) whom she met in her local bar. By the end of the trip we had exchanged emails and talked about getting together for drinks. She is a collector of friendships.
Both my friend and this woman find it easy to talk to others even if they don’t know them. This is a useful skill to have in business. Pair this with an ability to be a good listener (me) and you’ve got it made. But for some starting a conversation with strangers is hard (cue picture of me). Aren’t we told as kids not to talk to strangers? Yet as adults were told it is good for us to do. Huh?!
“Believe it or not, small talk serves important functions in human social interaction:
It breaks the ice between you and them
It helps you find common ground and shared interests
It plays a role in overcoming social discomfort
Small talk also helps create belonging between peers and sets the groundwork for deeper conversations — which can help you in your career. “ — Elizabeth Perry, BetterUp
Ways to start a conversation…
1. Gather information “Do you know who the first speaker is?”
2. Discuss a shared interest “What brought you to this conference?”
3. Introduce yourself “Hi, I’m Mali, I am so excited to be here.”
4. Give an complement “Hi, I love your necklace!”
— Jennifer Herrity, Indeed
So as you get out an enjoy the sunshine, go on vacation or even buy food for picnic in the park, try starting a conversation with another person.