Give kids space

I am very good at reading my daughter. If she comes home upset or anxious, I can tell. Typically, I say, “ I see you're upset. If you want to talk about it, you know where to find me.” She either talks right then or later. My #1 parenting tip is to listen to your children through active listening. My #2 parenting tip is to “let go.” Don’t push your kids to talk to you. It might backfire in that they resent you for doing so, don’t tell you the whole truth, or even lie to get out of the conversation.

My daughter (20 y.o.) understands that she can talk to me about anything and in her own time. This has made for some deep conversations and good communication. It also helps that your home should be a judgment-free zone. If you combine active listening with a judgment-free environment and allow your kid(s) to talk when they are ready, you are on your way to winning parent of the year (or at least I would like to think so).

Here’s the interesting thing: there are no primary sources to back up what I just said. I tried to find some, and all I got were sources on how to prevent back talk and get your kids to listen.  The point is that we can’t solve all the problems our kids have, and we shouldn’t. Giving my daughter time to seek me out to talk gives her time to think and approach me with a need for advice or help. In the end, I am teaching her to problem solve.

This parenting post has no primary sources because there aren’t any. So, what is your parenting win with active listening and/or not pushing your kid(s) to talk to you?